How To Deal With A Toxic Boss Without Changing Jobs!
Posted on July 31st, 2008
We’ve all been there, right? The familiar dread that seeps into your subconscious on Sunday nights when you have to return to You know where in the morning! Yes, it is the familiar angst of returning either to a dead-end job or dealing with a toxic boss. Has your relationship with your boss taken a turn for the worse? Do you sense that the tension in the air when you interact with your boss? Relax, it’s time to turn things around and it starts with YOU.
We need to evaluate how and when things turned sour. Grab a paper and a pen and be honest with yourself. Was their a miscommunication? or perhaps confrontation to cause the issues at work? or is your boss simply difficult to work with? We’ll address both scenarios in this article.
Miscommunication/confrontations: Determine what the issue is and write it down on the pad. What was your boss’s reaction and what was your reaction to the issue? Time for honesty here if you truly want to work things out. Make a list of anything you think that might have contributed to the misfire in communication.
SCHEDULE A ONE-ON-ONE MEETING WITH YOUR BOSS: Choose a day and time where your boss will not be rushed for time or have meetings most of the day. You want the meeting to be as relaxed as possible. Put your best smile on and request to meet with your boss.
BEFORE THE MEETING: Organize your notes. Jot down any ideas or issues you want to clarify and practice speaking your points. DO NOT USE THE FOLLOWING PHRASES! YOU ALWAYS, YOU NEVER. This only enflames the situation by setting an accusatory tone. You want to heal this relationship, not make it worse, right?
DURING THE MEETING: Thank your boss for meeting with you. Tell him/her why you wanted to meet with them. A sample opener might be, First of all, I would like to thank you for meeting with me. The reason I wanted to meet with you is that I am feeling that there is some tension between us due to the issue. Do you feel the same? Have your pad and pen ready to jot notes as your boss speaks. Always speak in a friendly tone and listen to what they have to say. If your boss states that there is a problem between the two of you, ask them the following: What can I do to improve this situation?.
Once your boss details what you can do, make sure you understand their position and ask for a follow- up meeting to measure your progress. This shows your boss you are willing to take ownership of the solution.
AFTER THE MEETING: Send an email to your boss thanking them for setting time aside for meeting with you. Include the bullet points you each discussed and that you both agreed that a follow-up meeting would be scheduled to see if progress is being made. Ask for your boss to clarify if any points are inaccurate that you just detailed. Save your email and your boss’s response if any.
Now, you may be saying to yourself, But, my boss is the one to blame! Not me!. That may be true. If the relationship with your boss is due to a larger, more involved issue, you may need to involve Human Resources to mediate. If that is the case, you have proof from your email that you tried your best to address the problem in a professional and conciliatory manner. This will always work in your favor.
Good luck and happy employment!
Taryn Simpson is a published author and freelance writer with over 15 years of HR experience. Ms. Simpson owns her own writing company, Simpson - E Publishing which offers clients ghostwriting of novels/articles, web content, brochures, newsletters, press releases and more. Sign up to recieve her free newsletter for writer’s tips and news on her website.http://www.Simpson-EPublishing.com. To learn more about this writer, feel free to visit her online presskit: http://www.TarynSimpson.com
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Tags: Boss, employment, job, toxic, work
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